I’ll Tell You What’s Catching:
Our Can-Do Attitude!
The Painter’s Rag:
Wit And Wisdom
From Your Friendly And Professional Fine Painting Company
They say that humor is contagious… and, here at Imhoff Fine Painting Company, boy, don’t we wish it were the ONLY thing going around these days!
But it isn’t… so, for your protection, we’ve washed our hands and covered our cough before sending you this month’s edition of The Painter’s Rag.
I’m sure the last thing you want right now is another update from some company that’s taken new precautions to help “flatten the curve” and stop the spread of the COVID-19 virus.
So here it is!
- We’re still the same friendly crew you’ve come to know, love, revere, appreciate, admire, look up to, and tolerate. But for now, we’re skipping friendly gestures like handshakes, fist bumps, high fives, elbow taps, bro hugs, and big wet smooches. Please forgive us; but they say we should keep a healthy six foot distance from you (and from each other), so that’s what we’re doing. And even our tallest painter can’t fist-bump you from six feet away.
Which, I guess, is the point.
- We’re still hard at work, bringing a fresh coat of LOVE and beauty to your property… but we’re stopping the magic twice a day to thoroughly sanitize all our tools and equipment.
Any crew member who feels sick WON’T be visiting your property. Hey, it might just be a run-of-the-mill cold… but who wants to take chances these days?
- Our crew members are also donning full personal protective gear (PPG), including high-quality masks and nitrile gloves. This may render us a little less overwhelmingly-attractive than usual, but during times like these, sacrifices must be made.
We’re taking great care to clean every surface we touch. In fact, we’re a little obsessive about it.
Our crew members are thoroughly trained in proper hand-washing and hand-sanitizing techniques. Two have advanced degrees, as far as you know.
- And, perhaps most important, we only meet in person when we have to. We can do your estimate using pictures and videos! No need to visit your property in person. How cool is that?
Answer: It’s very cool.
We’re taking COVID-19 seriously. Very seriously. But we’re not taking ourselves too seriously. Never have, never will!
We will not let this nasty bug cast a shadow over our bright, sunny disposition, nor mute the positive attitude and can-do spirit for which your friends at Imhoff Fine Painting Company have always been famous, and for which we’ve won awards.
Just kidding. There’s no award program for positive attitude and can-do spirit, that we know of.
So how can YOU (yes, YOU) help us continue to supply this healthy, robust, positive, excellent painting/staining experience by (let’s be Frank, or whoever) keeping us in business?
If you have a need for:
- An exterior paint job… maybe even a partial project (either just the south and west sides of your house… or, especially, on the south and west sides of town)… just the trim… just a re-beautification of your deck… maybe a little light carpentry and/or siding repair… or even a full paint restoration to bring fresh beauty to your home’s exterior…
A new-looking garage floor or concrete patio, with an amazing look you’ll be proud of for years to come…
Or even a restoration of your patio furniture (wood or metal!), which we can invite into our shop and restore right here in our state-of-the-art spray booth…
- In fact, say you’re holed-up at a remote location (your mountain cabin, your second home on the Colorado beach, Gate 53 at DIA still waiting for your March 13 departure to Palm Springs, whatever)… and your primary residence in Colorado is sitting there all lonely and empty… we can have it spiffy for you when you return!
If so… If these scenarios apply, or if any other scenario applies, whatsoever, to you…
… We’d love to hear from you!
We’re still here for you… and we’re committed to giving you not only the best painting experience you’ve ever enjoyed, but the safest, too.
Stay safe and healthy!
- Do you know of an award program for positive attitude and can-do spirit?
- Please send us a link to their web site, or shout the URL from a minimum of six feet away.
- How can we bring a fresh coat of LOVE and BEAUTY to your property, showing Nasty Old Mr. Corona that we will not let him force us to live with bad walls, trim, or even concrete surfaces?
Send your answers to email@example.com
(* Prize is at the sole discretion of Doug Imhoff, his heirs and assigns, whatever that means, and whoever cares to comment from six feet away. No big wet smooches, please… at least not for the next few weeks. Winning entries may be asked to sign an Artist’s Release allowing us to print your entry on bottles of hand sanitizer and on industrial face masks. Like we can find any of those. Must be a resident of the United States, including Guam, American Samoa, Puerto Rico, the U.S. Virgin Islands, and many parts of South Carolina. Entries submitted on toilet paper will not only be accepted, they’ll certainly be used. Proof of herd immunity required. Boring, lackluster, or unimaginative entries will be considered – as uncool losers! Like spring break partiers who fly home from the beach and infect the very people they’re counting on to pay their tuition! But I digress.)
Don’t forget: With Imhoff Fine Painting, you always get more than a high-quality paint job… you get an enjoyable experience we hope you’ll treasure. We’re passionate about our customers and their properties… we’re a “painting family,” and we treat your project like family, too! Check us out online. We’re delighted by the many enthusiastic five-star reviews our clients have shared on Google, Yelp, and elsewhere. And we can’t wait to earn our next outstanding review from you!
a GREAT painting experience?
Please forward The Painter’s Rag their way!