… The Pros At Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Have You Covered
We can just see the write-up in the society columns of The Denver Post from Sunday, December 18, 2022 now:
“Glimpsed among the throng at last night’s holiday soiree at the fashionable [YOUR NAME HERE] Estate: Denver society’s elite, including one of the local weather announcers, that guy from down the street whose name you keep forgetting but who always brings good wine, the city’s most talented carolers (as far as we could tell), a couple of sullen teenagers who were only there because their parents made them come and who definitely did NOT participate in the singalong, the lady from work who makes awesome holiday brownies, and assorted members of last summer’s second-place rec league softball team, all dressed in their holiday finery for the occasion.”
“If only the walls and trim boards, and cabinets and stairway banisters, had been given the same loving attention that was paid to the decorations and delicious holiday treats. But they hadn’t been, and everyone huffed out in disgust, embarrassing the [YOUR NAME HERE] family beyond imagining.”
That edition hasn’t gone to press yet, though, so this does not have to be the fate of [YOUR NAME HERE], nor of any other fashionable holiday party hosts in the Denver area.
[YOUR NAME HERE] can always call the professional painting experts at Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company NOW, and schedule a holiday spruce up featuring a fresh coat of LOVE for the fashionable estate, just in time for Christmas!
And here’s a second dose of holiday cheer: If you grab one of the remaining spots on our busy holiday schedule NOW, you’ll get a nice Christmas present: A discount of at least ten percent! Yes, we’ll give ten percent OFF for holiday spruce-up projects valued at $1,500 or more.
We give even bigger discounts for even bigger projects! [YOUR NAME HERE]’s discount will depend on the size and scope of [YOUR NAME HERE]’s project.
But wait: There’s MORE! Your third dose of holiday cheer is this: You don’t even have to be home while we put a fresh coat of LOVE on your fashionable party venue. That’s right. We’ve done it before. Call for details on how, while you’re off at some exotic and undisclosed location for a November or early December get-away, we can spruce up your estate and have it looking approximately “WOW!” by the time you get back.
The friendly and shockingly-good-looking painting professionals at Imhoff Fine Residential Painting are the best in the business. We’ve seen it all, and painted it all. We’ve got the experience, the talent, and the work ethic to give you the finest painting experience you can get.
Don’t take our word for it! (Well, you can if you want.) Check out the many enthusiastic five-star reviews our customers have taken the time to write for us online, and then give us a call.
While you’re away, we’ll paint all day. That little early-holiday poem is offered to remind you that the
pros at Imhoff Fine Residential Painting can get your fashionable estate holiday-ready, at a nice discount, even while you’re away! Ho Ho Ho
… Give The Gift Of Residential Awesomeness!
You probably remember this classic holiday poem, which we learned way back in Fine Residential Painter’s School.
(This was years ago, before we here at Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company BECAME the area’s leading Fine Residential Painter’s School, with a state-of-the-art training facility that’s the envy of fine residential painters throughout the land.)
What, you don’t remember it from your own school days? Well, here it is again, just to warm your heart with holiday cheer.
A Visit From Paint Nicholas
‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through your dad’s,
The walls were disgusting, and stairs just as bad.
The stockings were hung as if with great disdain
(The mantlepiece desperately needed some stain).
The grandkids were nestled all snug in their beds,
While ceilings with stains hung there over their heads.
Your mom in her kerchief, and dad in his cap,
Were moaning about how the place looked like crap.
When out in the driveway arose a great clatter:
The painters from Imhoff! The ones who don’t splatter!
“Your son and/or daughter has sent us this way,”
They said, “For a fresh coat of LOVE on this day!”
They spoke no more words, but went straight to the chore,
And now your folks’ place is disgusting no more.
The stairway looks awesome! The mantle, how merry!
And, get this: Away all the trash they did carry!
(Of course, we don’t paint stuff right on Christmas Eve,
It’s a dramatization. Don’t be so naïve.)
But I heard them exclaim, as they packed and took off,
“The best gift idea is Fresh LOVE from Imhoff!”
Yes, the winter months are the “slow” season here at Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company, which means we’re always looking for projects to keep our highly-trained and super-attractive painters busy – too busy to write bad poetry.
This is good news for YOU, because if you call now to give the gift of A Fresh Coat Of Love to someone you cherish (your parents, your grandparents, or even yourselves), we’ll schedule your paint job during our slow season at a whopping discount.
For most jobs, you get an astounding fifteen percent off at this time of year!
And scheduling is easier when we’re not as busy. Chances are, we can get your home a fresh coat of LOVE when it’s most convenient, and you (or your gift recipient) won’t have to wait until next Walpurgis Night (look it up) for that wonderful new look.
So call today!
Your friends at Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company wish you the very best this holiday season, and we thank you for your business. Check out the many enthusiastic five-star reviews our customers have taken the time to post online for us, then give us a call. We can make your folks’ place look beautiful – and what a great gift that would be. We can’t wait to earn our next great review from them – and from you. Cheers!
… Give Her A Home She’ll Love Coming Home To – At A Discount
At this festive season of the year, we find it’s more than usually desirable to add a little artistry to our already artistically superior blog.
Faithful readers of this space – folks such as yourself – look forward YEAR-ROUND to the light-hearted way we describe the many virtues of our work here at Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company.
The fact that we’re insured, bonded, and fully on the up-and-up. The fact that we do the job right the first time, every time, and we don’t leave your property until it’s a showplace. The fact that we train our charming and good-looking painters in the finest training facility known to the painting world.
Even the fact that our customers can’t help but GUSH their praise when they take the time to post enthusiastic five-star reviews for us online (for which we are always extremely grateful, and of which we’re extremely proud).
But this time of year, our demanding readers demand a little more. So with that in mind, we’ve actually composed a song which we’re sure will be a hit throughout the entire world. Or, at least it could hit the Top 40 on the Billboard “Songs By Painters” chart.
We know what you’re probably thinking. You’re probably thinking “That’s enough ado.” So now, without further ado, we present the lyrics:
Stain Auld Lang Syne
Met my grandmother in the grocery store
The snow was falling, Christmas Eve.
She stood there sobbing in the frozen foods,
And her chest began to heave.
She didn’t recognize my face at first,
But then she said “My word! It’s you!”
I tried to help her with her shopping then
But she told me she was through.
I said the years had been a friend to her
It was a comment from the heart.
“But now I’m guessing you’re forgetting stuff,
‘Cause there’s nothing in your cart.”
“And why the tears, Grandma?” I said to her,
As we went rolling down the aisle.
“I’m so sorry, Dear,” she then replied,
“But I have no cause to smile.”
“I’m only here because I can’t go home,”
The lady said through salty tears.
“I just can’t stand those kitchen cabinets,
Which have had no stain for years!”
We went back to her place to have a drink
(Hot tea for me, for her a beer),
And I could see what she was sad about:
Those cabinets were quite drear!
I said, “I know a guy who has a team,
Best painters in the hemisphere,
And as my tardy Christmas gift to you,
I’ll call and get them over here!”
“They’ll spiff your cabinets right up,” I said,
“And while they’re at it, I will see
If they can give your walls a coat of LOVE
With a satisfaction guarantee!”
We drank a toast to Imhoff, then,
We drank more than enough,
And now, my Grandma has a home
With a fresh new coat of LOVE!
It’s true, Christmas is over and done with for this year. But it’s never too late to give the gift that your grandma – or anyone else you cherish, for that matter – will appreciate beyond the words of gratitude they choke out through salty tears.
(Okay, that artistry got away from us a little there.)
Now, during the slow season, we would love to give your grandma’s home a fresh coat of LOVE, and we’re always looking for projects that can keep our painters so busy they have no time for bad songwriting.
So call today, and ask about our Winter Discount – for most projects, you could save a festive fifteen percent off the cost of a fresh coat of LOVE!
Call your friends at Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company today, and by NEXT Christmas, you and/or your loved ones will have a home to be proud of. Happy New Year! May 2023 bring you and yours lots of joy and happiness.
… This Halloween, Your Decorations Can Have A Fresh Coat Of LOVE
Here at Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company, we’ve been keeping a list. And you might be on that list.
(No, we’re not referring to that kind of list. If we were keeping that kind of list, and if you were possibly on it, we certainly wouldn’t refer to it.)
We’re keeping a list of all the very interesting things we’ve been privileged to paint (or stain) for our cherished customers.
We’ve painted or stained all kinds of walls and trim, every type of cabinet and stairway banister, and just about every surface you can think of, inside or outside our customers’ homes.
We’ve done lots of commercial jobs, too. Through our Paint It Forward program, we’ve put a fresh coat of LOVE on schools, community centers, and several other buildings which house worthy programs for needy folks whose causes wouldn’t usually be able to afford our services.
We even painted an historic train (as in, choo-choo) which was being restored up in the mountains! (You should see it… it’s a beaut!).
But, until recently, we’d never painted a monster. “We have a twelve-foot-tall monster in our front yard,” a caller recently told us, “and it’s looking pretty faded. We need some scary-looking green paint.”
(If you have a twelve-foot-tall monster in your yard, we thought to ourselves, paint is probably the least of your needs.)
Turns out the monster was not a live, child-and-pet-consuming menace, but a cool Halloween decoration which had faded in the sun after several years of tricking and treating the neighborhood.
“Does it come apart into pieces that will fit into the back of a pickup truck?” we asked, once we figured out what the customer was looking for.
“It does!” they said.
“Then YES! We can pick it up, bring it to our state-of-the-art spray booth, and apply a fresh coat of scary- looking LOVE to your cherished, uh, monster.”
“What about our fifteen-foot skeleton?” the caller asked. “We’ve had it out there for a few years, too, and it’s not as fresh and scary looking as it once was. If we break it down into its smaller components, can
you whiten it in your spray booth?”
“Yes, of course, it would be our pleasure to bleach your bones!” we replied.
“We also have some other little decorations that could probably use some freshening-up, like our tombstones, and this one witch we have which we usually stick to our privacy fence so it looks like she
crashed into it. You can spray those in your booth too, can’t you?”
We can. And that’s how we ended up driving down the road with a truck full of scary stuff, from a red- eyed faded green monster head to a skeleton’s leg bone, which dangled humorously off the back of the truck.
Talk about interesting painting projects!
This is definitely going to make the list.
Thanks to our spray booth, we can paint just about anything you can think of… and, as it turns out, we can paint many things you would never think would need a fresh coat of LOVE. So even if it’s just your boring old patio furniture, or some blinds in the house that need painting, one call to Imhoff Fine Residential Painting paints it all!
Image credit:Kenneth Brown / EyeEm//Getty Images
… With One Call To Your Expert Painting Friends At Imhoff
The other day, a call came into World Headquarters of Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company from a customer whose enthusiasm and anxiety were both fully understandable.
His enthusiasm was related to what some might call the “success” of a local professional gridiron club, which was at the time sporting a slightly-winning record and even had a share of first place. His anxiety, though, had to do with something for which he needed our help.
“Remember when your expert and disarmingly-attractive Imhoff Fine Residential Painting crew came out and stained our backyard deck?” he goes. “Sure!” we go. “Well, it’s still the envy of the whole neighborhood!” he goes.
“Outstanding!” we go.
But then he goes “So my wife invites the whole neighborhood, and our other two friends, and her parents, over for Backyard Broncos and Brats every weekend, because she’s so proud of our deck.”
“Did you say ‘brats,’ as in, do the neighbors bring their kids, or was that ‘brats,” as in bratwurst?” we go.
“The latter,” he goes.
“Oh,” we go.
“So anyway,” he goes, “that’s all cool, and everything, but our guests are starting to notice how disgusting our patio furniture is. It’s nice stuff – it sure cost a pretty penny – but it needs to be painted.”
At this point in the conversation, the reason for this customer’s call to Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company was patently obvious.
“We can help with that!” we go. “Painting, after all, is what we do! In fact, we’re the best in the biz. Our painters are trained to the most exacting standards in the industry in our state-of-the-art training facility, and they have the experience and know-how to handle anything that has anything to do with paint.”
“Or stain!” we add.
“Outstanding!” he goes. “Only one problem. I know you guys are busy this time of year… so how soon could you get a crew out here to paint this patio furniture? We’ve got B. B. & B. again in ten short days!”
“Not to worry,” we go. “We don’t even have to paint your patio furniture on-site. If it fits in the back of a pickup truck, it’ll fit in our luxurious state-of-the-art spray booth!”
“You don’t say!” he goes.
“We do say. We can come pick up your furniture, paint it in our spray booth, and bring it back… possibly in time for the next B.B. & B.”
“That’s so great!” he goes. “One more thing.”
“Can you paint it orange and blue?”
No matter how disgusting your patio furniture is – or what color you want it – the expert “painting
family” at Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company can spiff your stuff up without even bringing a crew
to your place. Our spray booth is fantastic! And with one call to Imhoff World Headquarters, you can
make your patio furniture fantastic, too. NOTE: While we stand behind our work, your football team’s
results are not guaranteed.