… With One Call To Your Expert Painting Friends At Imhoff


The other day, a call came into World Headquarters of Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company from a customer whose enthusiasm and anxiety were both fully understandable.

His enthusiasm was related to what some might call the “success” of a local professional gridiron club, which was at the time sporting a slightly-winning record and even had a share of first place. His anxiety, though, had to do with something for which he needed our help.

“Remember when your expert and disarmingly-attractive Imhoff Fine Residential Painting crew came out and stained our backyard deck?” he goes. “Sure!” we go. “Well, it’s still the envy of the whole neighborhood!” he goes.

“Outstanding!” we go.

But then he goes “So my wife invites the whole neighborhood, and our other two friends, and her parents, over for Backyard Broncos and Brats every weekend, because she’s so proud of our deck.”

“Did you say ‘brats,’ as in, do the neighbors bring their kids, or was that ‘brats,” as in bratwurst?” we go.

“The latter,” he goes.

“Oh,” we go.

“So anyway,” he goes, “that’s all cool, and everything, but our guests are starting to notice how disgusting our patio furniture is. It’s nice stuff – it sure cost a pretty penny – but it needs to be painted.”

At this point in the conversation, the reason for this customer’s call to Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company was patently obvious.

“We can help with that!” we go. “Painting, after all, is what we do! In fact, we’re the best in the biz. Our painters are trained to the most exacting standards in the industry in our state-of-the-art training facility, and they have the experience and know-how to handle anything that has anything to do with paint.”

“Or stain!” we add.

“Outstanding!” he goes. “Only one problem. I know you guys are busy this time of year… so how soon could you get a crew out here to paint this patio furniture? We’ve got B. B. & B. again in ten short days!”

“Not to worry,” we go. “We don’t even have to paint your patio furniture on-site. If it fits in the back of a pickup truck, it’ll fit in our luxurious state-of-the-art spray booth!”

“You don’t say!” he goes.

“We do say. We can come pick up your furniture, paint it in our spray booth, and bring it back… possibly in time for the next B.B. & B.”

“That’s so great!” he goes. “One more thing.”


“Can you paint it orange and blue?”


No matter how disgusting your patio furniture is – or what color you want it – the expert “painting
family” at Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company can spiff your stuff up without even bringing a crew
to your place. Our spray booth is fantastic! And with one call to Imhoff World Headquarters, you can
make your patio furniture fantastic, too. NOTE: While we stand behind our work, your football team’s
results are not guaranteed.



Image Credit:https://www.sheboyganpress.com/story/sports/nfl/2016/02/06/sheboygan-broncos-house-hard-miss/79884448/