What The Heck Are We Doing Here?
(A: We Do It ALL – Or Have Friends Who Do It –
To Make Your Place BEAUTIFUL)
The Painter’s Rag:
Monthly Wit And Wisdom
From Your Friendly And Professional Fine Painting Company
When it comes to making your home as BEAUTIFUL as it can be… or even MORE beautiful than that… Imhoff Fine Residential Painting does it all!
And for less than you think!
(I’m making that up, of course… I have no idea what you think it’s going to cost to commission a truly fine painting/finishing job in your home… but I’m still willing to gamble that it’ll turn out to be less than you think.)
(Unless you think it will be a cheap job, which is the kind of thing we don’t do at Imhoff, but plenty of other people do, and you get what you pay for, or in the case of some of these other companies, far less than that, but I think you know what I mean.)
(Again, I’m making THAT up, because I have no idea whether or not you know what I mean. How could I? I’m a brilliant painter, but I suck at reading minds.)
So give us a call today! You might be surprised (again, making it up… I have no idea what surprises you) at all the things we can do to make your home spiffy.
We paint, sure, of course. But we also RE-stain and varnish your trim, staircases, railings… kitchen, laundry, or bathroom vanity cabinets… you name it!… so beautifully that you’ll be astonished at just how beautiful it turns out to be.
(NOT making that up.)
We can even refinish your concrete with a beautiful overlay! Yes, at Imhoff Fine Residential Painting, we literally do it ALL.
“Wait,” you say, “I bet you don’t strip away asbestos-containing paint and popcorn ceilings, and the like, and dispose of this hazardous stuff in the proper and socially-acceptable way.”
And that’s where you’d be dead right.
But we have a VAST network of referral partners who DO perform jobs like that, to the highest professional standards.
And, if your home was built before 1978, and you fear you may have lead paint chips in your dinner salad, you’ll be delighted and relieved to know that we’re EPA Certified to work with lead paint!
Just about anything your home needs to become the radiant gem you’ve imagined, we either do it, or we can refer you to the BEST people who do.
And now, during the “slow” season, you can get a whopping discount on your fine residential painting project!
(Some exclusions apply… but then, they always do… call for details.)
So don’t delay. People who delay are just delaying delayers. And they might miss out on huge discounts, like the ones YOU would get, since you aren’t going to delay.
And you like saving money!
I don’t have to be a mind-reader to know that.
- How good are you at reading minds?
- How many fingers am I holding up?
- What’s that project that’s been nagging at you, which, if accomplished, would make your home the radiant gem you’ve been imagining?
Send your answers to firstname.lastname@example.org… The most clever, creative responses will be eligible to WIN A PRIZE! *
(* Prize is at the sole discretion of Doug Imhoff, his wife, his tax accountant (duh), and anyone else he cares to consult. Answers which include the words “paint,” “stain,” “discount,” and “consanguinity” will be given special consideration, and may appear on television, though that seems highly unlikely. Must be a U.S. citizen over the age of four, or a citizen of some other country under the age of four hundred, to be eligible. And don’t try to cheat – we can’t read your mind, but we can definitely look up your age. Offer not offered where unlawful. Boring, lackluster, or unimaginative entries are just a bad idea in general, and might only serve to fulfill that dark prophecy your yearbook editors offered about being “most likely to turn out boring, lackluster, and unimaginative.” Don’t let those knuckleheads define you! For crying out loud!)
Don’t forget: With Imhoff Fine Painting, you always get more than a high-quality paint job… you get an enjoyable experience we hope you’ll treasure. We’re passionate about our customers and their properties… we’re a “painting family,” and we treat your project like family, too! Check us out online. We’re delighted by the many enthusiastic five-star reviews our clients have shared on Google, Yelp, and elsewhere. And we can’t wait to earn our next outstanding review from you!
Know anybody who could use a smile… or perhaps a GREAT painting experience?
Please forward The Painter’s Rag their way!