It’s A Dangerous Game
The Painter’s Rag:
Monthly Wit And Wisdom
From Your Friendly And Professional Fine Painting Company
If you’re like me, and I know I am, you always appreciate an opportunity to get the best value for your hard-earned money.
But, like me, you’re probably aware of the fact that value doesn’t mean cheap.
Here’s a fun little game you can play at home, or with your socially-distant friends via video conference.
“Pro, Or Con?”
(By the way, before we proceed, I should mention that not all non-professionals in all fields are ex-cons. Well, some are. It’s just that “Pro, Or Hobbyist?” or “Pro, Or Random Subcontractor?” were lame game titles. Just go with it.)
Here’s how to play:
For each of these purchases, playing the percentages, would you get a better value from a Professional, or from a Hobbyist, Random Subcontractor, or general odd-jobber who may be an Ex-Con?
- Eye surgery
- Heart surgery
- Brain surgery
- Really, any surgery
- Financial planning
- Criminal defense
- Marriage counseling
- Child care (exclusions apply for Grandma, who may be a Hobbyist, but probably not an Ex-Con. Well, some are.)
- Tax planning
- Painting your home or place-of-business, which property might well represent your biggest monetary investment, just sayin.’
Time’s up! Pencils (pencils?) down.
Now, if you answered “Con” to any of these, you get a few extra seconds to re-think your answer. Not because it’s wrong, necessarily… no, wait, that’s exactly why.
Bluntly, it’s just wrong to think you’re going to get a better value on, say, eye surgery from a hobbyist or other Con than you’d get from someone who had at least dropped by medical school, no matter whether he or she would cost you more (hint: he or she would definitely cost you more).
But while I might just be guessing at that, I am definitely not guessing when it comes to #10, your painting project.
You can get Paintin’ Done Cheap by Chuck With A Truck, and pay less than you’d pay to engage the professional, attractive, experienced, caring, professional, talented, valued, and professional painting crew from Imhoff Fine Painting Company, just as one salient example.
But would that be your best value? No. No, it wouldn’t.
And here’s a partial list of the many differences a professional firm offers, all of which add up to superior value:
- A professional painting firm like Imhoff Fine Painting Company is staffed by valued employees, not subcontractors who may (or may not) have experience with the kind of detailed work your project demands, and who may (or may not) be Ex-Cons.
- Pros are adequately insured against all the crazy things that can happen when you attempt to apply paint or stain to surfaces (believe me). If accidental damage occurs, or somebody falls off a ladder, your property (and bank account) are fully protected when you go with a pro. Chucks With Trucks are notoriously under-insured.
- Quality Control! Professional firms train and train and train their cherished crews (and pay them well), as opposed to Chuck, who may well be picking up “subcontractors” in the parking lot of the nearest big-box home improvement store.
- Some of whom may have done time. Just a thought.
- But really. Have you seen some of these dudes?
- Consider “the long view.” Wouldn’t you rather hire a painting company that’s been around twenty years (I know one), and trains and values their employees, and who will send familiar faces to your property every time you need a beautiful spruce-up… as opposed to playing Chuck’s “Sub-Contractor Shell Game” and having no idea who you’ll be getting this time?
- Also, I’m not saying Chuck and his Truck don’t play by the rules (though he doesn’t)… but a professional firm always does. A pro firm’s employees get regular paychecks, payroll taxes are paid, unemployment insurance is taken care of, and, in general, our economic system is supported by the pro firm in a way it generally isn’t by Chuck and his ilk.
- When you hire a professional firm, you’re supporting local businesses, as opposed to throwing money at fly-by-night storm-chasing subcontractor crews.
- Yes, that’s a thing.
- These days, it’s dangerous not to wash-up and adhere to strict cleanliness guidelines… and this needs to be done frequently, which is what professionals do. Chuck & Company? Hmm.
- Also, subcontractors sometimes pee in your bushes.
- (What did you get for #4?)
- Which sounds better: Chuck With A Truck, or Dan With A Van? Explain.
- Are you ready for a painting experience that will blow your socks off… and delight you so much you can’t wait to be the next customer to leave us a glowing online review?
Send your answers to email@example.com
(* Prize is at the sole discretion of Doug Imhoff, if by “sole discretion” you mean “permission from his wife,” and if by “Doug Imhoff,” you mean his wife. This month’s prize is unbelievably fabulous, as far as you know, so give this some serious thought before you hit “send” – don’t just slap-dash something together and expect it to be the big winner. That’s not how we do things around here, and our expectations of you are high as well. This could really be a game-changer for you. Maybe not, but the point is that it COULD be. Entries submitted with cash payments known as “bribes” will not be accepted, though the cash payments certainly will be. Submissions from certain zip codes will not be given preferential treatment. Must be a U.S. resident 6.5 years of age or older in order to win, though others are welcome to talk their parents into entering on their behalf and/or cheating in any way they deem appropriate. Boring, lackluster, or unimaginative entries will not be considered – and are just a sign of poor taste and lack of judgment. Goes without saying. Ever notice how, whenever someone says something “goes without saying,” they go ahead and say it anyway, if they haven’t already? Sheesh.)
Don’t forget: With Imhoff Fine Painting, you always get more than a high-quality paint job… you get an enjoyable experience we hope you’ll treasure. We’re passionate about our customers and their properties… we’re a “painting family,” and we treat your project like family, too! Check us out online. We’re delighted by the many enthusiastic five-star reviews our clients have shared on Google, Yelp, and elsewhere. And we can’t wait to earn our next outstanding review from you!
Know anybody who could use a smile… or perhaps a GREAT painting experience?
Please forward The Painter’s Rag their way!