The Early Bird Gets More Than A Worm From Us
… And It’s A PERFECT Gift For The Holidays!
The Painter’s Rag:
Monthly Wit And Wisdom
From Your Friendly And Professional Fine Painting Company
We all know that old expression; we’ve heard it a million times: “Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear.”
Also: “The Early Bird Gets The Worm.”
It’s that second one that draws our attention in this month’s action-packed edition of The Painter’s Rag. The Early Bird! Getting the worm!
And okay, for a bird, a worm is probably a wonderful prize. Humans, on the other hand, probably need a different motivation if you want them to respond like The Early Bird.
So we’d like to propose a new old expression:
“The Early Imhoff Customer Gets The Discount And Probably First Pickin’s In Terms Of Scheduling That Wintertime Professional Paint Job, Applied With LOVE By Expert Painters Who Are All Cherished Members Of The Imhoff Painting Family.”
“And Never Subcontractors.”
See how that just rolls off the tongue?
If it’s time for your home or business to get a fresh coat of LOVE, there’s no better time to call us and get the Early Bird Special mentioned above. We’re heading into our slowest season, so you (yes, YOU) can benefit by having us paint your place between now and March!
Why do we offer such a wonderful deal to Early Birds? Because if we don’t keep our cherished Imhoff Painting Family busy during the holidays, they might go flip burgers, or flip cars, or just flip out. So we keep them busy, and that means big savings for you!
When all the Late Birds call us, we’ll be all like, “Sorry, The Early Bird done got your worm, my friend.” But we’ll schedule their work, of course. We’re not dumb.
But Late Birds don’t get the same deal Early Birds get!
(BTW, all you birds out there, if you have a checking account or a valid credit card with photo ID – which seems unlikely – you can get the Early Bird Special for a new coat of LOVE on your bird house. We don’t discriminate.)
Scheduling a paint job for your loved ones – like Mom and Dad, who never seem to get around to it – is a PERFECT GIFT IDEA. And with the Early Bird Special, you can give the gift of LOVE (in paint form) at a festive holiday discount!
So give your friends at Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company a call today, and ask about the Early Bird Special! Because The End Of The Special Is Closer Than It Appears.
- How close are those objects in the mirror, really? Are they all that closer than they appear?
- If you were a bird, what would you want for Christmas? And don’t say “a worm”
- Can you call today to schedule your brilliant new paint job for our slow season, and get the rockin’ discount only Early Birds can get?
Send your answers to email@example.com
(* Prize is at the sole discretion of Doug Imhoff, his heirs and assigns, and a focus group comprised of cardholding birds and other rare entities. By the way, if you’re a turkey bird, you probably ought to keep your head down for a few weeks, whether or not you have a checking account or valid credit card. Safety first, that’s our motto here at Imhoff. If you’re an Odd Duck, well, this is the contest for you! Grand prize is a close object, but you will only be able to see its reflection in your side mirror. Deadline for entry is last night. Sorry Late Birds. But Early Birds can enter any time they like. Boring, lackluster, or unimaginative entries will be chopped headless, plucked, and served with cranberry sauce and sage dressing. So keep it sharp!)
Don’t forget: With Imhoff Fine Residential Painting, you always get more than a high-quality paint job… you get an enjoyable experience we hope you’ll treasure. We’re passionate about our customers and their properties… we’re a “painting family,” and we treat your project like family, too! Check us out online. We feel great feelings of thanksgiving when we read the many enthusiastic five-star reviews our clients have shared on Google, Yelp, and elsewhere. And we can’t wait to earn our next outstanding review from you!
Know anybody who could use a smile… or perhaps a GREAT painting experience?
Please forward The Painter’s Rag their way!