Your Dad Was Right About One Thing
… Even If He’s A Horrible Cook
The Painter’s Rag:
Monthly Wit And Wisdom
From Your Friendly And Professional Fine Painting Company
I’ll let you in on a little secret: Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company should probably not be your first choice for plumbing work or electrical work or dog-walking work or cooking (though one or two of us can burn a mean steak).
No, we’re fine residential painters, which was likely the inspiration behind the name of our firm. We paint. We’re the best in the painting business, with stunning five-star online reviews to prove it.
But we don’t do windows.
(Well, we don’t clean or install windows, but we do paint them, including the trickiest restoration work, and, heh heh, I gotta say, we’re really good at that.)
So if someone shows up in an Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company vehicle, wearing a snazzy Imhoff Fine Residenital Painting Company shirt, and says they can do EVERY single aspect of your major construction job, please call me.
Also, if it isn’t too much trouble, please call the police to report the whereabouts of our stolen vehicle. And (SO sorry to be pushy), if you would be so kind as to immobilize the imposter with some sort of self-defense spray or device, strip off the stolen shirt, and zip-tie his wrists to his ankles, well, I’d really appreciate that, too.
Now, a second industry-insider secret: General contractors are NOT fine residential painters.
I’ve heard too many horror stories from new customers who were formerly customers of some over-reaching contractor who, in addition to framing-in the new construction, also charged them to do other aspects of the job for which they were sorely unqualified.
Including the painting.
I’m not saying the electrical wiring was poorly installed and dangerous. I’m not saying the plumbing was wholly inadequate and required major rework. I’m not saying the drywall job was icky. I’m not saying the painting and staining were horrifically botched.
Oh, wait a minute, yes I am. That last one? Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying: the contractor botched the painting work so horrifically that the whole job had to be stripped and re-done by fine residential painters. Namely, the talented team from the Imhoff Painting Family.
I wouldn’t pass judgment on poor electrical, plumbing, drywall, or dog-walking work performed by a general contractor who said they could do the job (and charged a pretty penny for it), but turned out NOT to be all that crackerjack at it. Or even remotely qualified.
That’s for others to judge.
But I can tell at a glance when I’m dealing with a horrifically botched paint job. Because that’s what I do. (The painting, that is. Not the botching.)
And this horror show happens more often than anyone would like.
So if your “contractor” says he’s also a painter, I’d say you have a few options:
- Get a different contractor
- Tell him to stay in his friggin’ lane, and call Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company to do the excellent painting work
- Tell him you’ll do the painting yourself, to save money, hardy har har… and then call Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company when he isn’t looking
- Go ahead and let him paint your project, and then call me to re-do it (this option affords you the opportunity to pay many multiples of what the other options would cost)
I don’t mean to be snarky. There are some really excellent general contractors out there, as well as specialists in things like plumbing and drywall who are almost as good at what they do as we are at what we do. In fact, I can give you some excellent referrals to these outstanding pros.
But, just as anyone wearing an Imhoff shirt who tells you they can do your electrical work is a rogue imposter… no plumber, dog-walker, or general contractor is going to be able to paint your project like we can.
What was that your dad told you? “You’ll always get better results, and save money in the long run, if you do the job right the first time.” Or something like that.
Dad may have been wrong about a lot of things.
But he nailed that one.
***
Discussion Questions
- Do you know an excellent dog walker? Call me. I may have some referrals for them.
- What is your favorite method for immobilizing imposters?
- Does your property need fine painting work… and do you need to save money by having the job done right the first time?
Send your answers to doug@imhoffpaintingcompany.com
(* Prize is at the sole discretion of Doug Imhoff, his friends and associates, a butcher, a baker, and a candle-stick maker. General contractors who are also painters need not apply. Top prize is worth its weight in gold, though it has no cash value and cannot be redeemed for food stamps, bus tokens, tiddly-winks, or anything else of equal or lesser value. The prize is what it is. It’s true to its own self. It isn’t trying to be something it isn’t… it’s not like a contractor who pretends to be a painter, for instance. Restrictions may apply. Then again, they may not. I think your best bet is just to send in your very best entry and then see what applies and what doesn’t. Speaking of applying, friends don’t let friends apply paint to their cherished residential surfaces if those friends are contractors, or plumbers, or dog walkers. If you are unable to produce a friend who is a fine residential painter, one will be appointed for you by our firm. Boring, lackluster, or unimaginative entries will be burned at the steak. But the good ones will be lovingly tossed in an exquisite vinaigrette, lightly seasoned and served with a garnish of baby field greens. Void where allergic.)
Don’t forget: With Imhoff Fine Painting, you always get more than a high-quality paint job… you get an enjoyable experience we hope you’ll treasure. We’re passionate about our customers and their properties… we’re a “painting family,” and we treat your project like family, too! Check us out online. We’re delighted by the many enthusiastic five-star reviews our clients have shared on Google, Yelp, and elsewhere. And we can’t wait to earn our next outstanding review from you!
Know anybody who could use a smile… or perhaps a GREAT painting experience?
Please forward The Painter’s Rag their way!