Chuck In A Truck…
The Amazing Disappearing Man!
The Painter’s Rag:
Monthly Wit And Wisdom
From Your Friendly And Professional Fine Painting Company
Our well-trained, highly-cherished, distractingly-attractive crew of painters arrived on time at the home of a customer who’d called us to schedule a fresh coat of love on the rooms of their main floor.
But when they got there, they found Chuck’s Truck sitting in the driveway, and Chuck himself smoking a cigarette on the front porch.
Our crew leader nodded at a smirking Chuck as he walked past him and rang the doorbell. The customer gasped as he answered the door, though, and realized he’d forgotten to call us to cancel.
“Chuck, here, is doing the job for less,” the customer said. “He knocked on our door… my wife answered… she told him how much Imhoff Fine Residential Painting had quoted, and he said he’d do the job for $100 less.”
Our pleasant crew leader thanked the customer for his time, got back in our stylish and professionally-outfitted vehicle, and moved on to the next job, arriving somewhat earlier than planned.
About three months later, our well-trained, highly-cherished, distractingly-attractive painters arrived back at the same customer’s house. Everything looked the same as it had before from the outside of the house, except this time, no Chuck, and no Truck.
This time, though, when the customer answered the door, he gasped a different gasp and pulled our crew leader into a tight hug.
“Thank goodness you came back,” the customer said. “I need your help!”
And he did. To say Chuck had done a lousy, clownish job on this fellow’s painting project would be to do a grave disservice to lousy clowns.
Chuck’s paint was unintentionally two-toned on some of the walls. Some spots were still sticky, months later, and the paint was peeling in some places. There were globs of paint in some spots on the carpet, and the stained baseboards had big runs of paint on them.
It was hideous.
To make matters worse, Chuck was nowhere to be found. The number he’d given the customer was “not a working number,” and the Truck hadn’t been seen in the neighborhood since Chuck collected his money and left the customer’s house three months ago.
It gives us no pleasure to relate stories like this, but it’s the tale of one of our many customers who learned the hard way that you should always go with a professional the first time, every time you need fine painting or staining work.
Chuck In A Truck, or Dan In A Van, will always quote you a lower price than you’ll get when you engage the expert services of Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company. That’s because Chuck’s and Dan’s costs are much lower than ours, and they can pass (some of) that savings on to you!
But what they’re not spending money on – and we are – are things like licensing fees, insurance, and professional training.
We have a sort of “painting academy” – a training facility where we put our painters through the paces to make sure they’re able to handle whatever might come up on a project, and handle it with expertise.
When they need help, on the other hand, Chuck and Dan simply swing by the home improvement store and pick up whoever’s hanging around outside. They don’t pay these helpers much, and they certainly don’t stay square with Uncle Sam by paying payroll taxes.
And when they botch your paint job, Chuck and Dan don’t carry insurance to make things right, and they probably don’t know how to fix the problems they create anyway. Their best bet is to collect your money and then disappear quickly into the Px4 – The Poor Painter’s Protection Program.
There are many reasons you’re better off going with a pro the first time (rather than calling a pro to fix things after they’ve been bungled by Chuck or Dan). These are just a few.
In the long run, you enjoy a much better outcome AND save money when you call the professionals at Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company.
Let us give you and your home a painting experience that only experienced painters can provide!
We can’t wait to earn our next five-star review from you.
How much would you pay a guy named Chuck to botch your paint job and smoke cigarettes on your front porch?
What would you pay a lousy clown to do the same thing?
Is it time for the well-trained, highly-cherished, distractingly-attractive professionals at Imhoff Fine Residential Painting to apply a fresh coat of love to your home… and your life?
Send your answers to firstname.lastname@example.org
(* Prize is at the sole discretion of Doug Imhoff, his heirs and assigns, and a select committee of lousy cigarette-smoking clowns. Top prize this month may be an all-expenses-paid trip to visit the birthplace of Vincent Van Gogh, but since we’re not sure where that is, it probably won’t be that. I guess I’m mildly curious about where Vince was born, but my curiosity about that has risen only to a level slightly lower than the level required to warrant reaching into my pocket to find the answer on my phone. Entries which include the answer might be given special consideration. Maybe not, though, because again, I’m not all that curious about it. Deadline for entry is just a theoretical concept in this case. Boring, lackluster, or unimaginative entries will be painted over and possibly dripped on Chuck’s carpet. You can do better than that, even if Chuck can’t. Good luck!)
Don’t forget: With Imhoff Fine Residential Painting, you always get more than a high-quality paint job… you get an enjoyable experience we hope you’ll treasure. We’re passionate about our customers and their properties… we’re a “painting family,” and we treat your project like family, too! Check us out online. We pull each other into tight hugs when we read the many enthusiastic five-star reviews our clients have shared on Google, Yelp, and elsewhere. And we can’t wait to earn our next outstanding review from you!
Know anybody who could use a smile… or perhaps a GREAT painting experience?
Please forward The Painter’s Rag their way!