Thinking Of Hiring A Rookie To Paint Your Property?
(Not To Crush Your Dreams… But That’ll Never Fly)
The Painter’s Rag:
Monthly Wit And Wisdom
From Your Friendly And Professional Fine Painting Company
I have a friend who was in the Army years ago, when he was 18 years old.
More of the true story:
This friend and his young buddies were driving around near Fort Bragg one Saturday afternoon, when they saw a used hang glider for sale in somebody’s front yard. Just $100!
(For the uninitiated, a hang glider is basically a giant kite you’re supposed to strap onto your back and use to fly after you jump off a mountain or building.)
One of the buddies – possibly my friend, who was never the sharpest knife in the drawer – said something like this: “Hey, we’ve jumped out of airplanes… how hard could that be?”
So they pooled their money, bought the kite, and took off for some of the sand cliffs on the nearby post.
After two hours, countless bruises (including egos), and some tattered busted-up frames (including the hang glider), our young heroes had learned an important life lesson:
Experience And Know-How Matter.
It turns out that, though they were young and inexperienced at everything, these young guys had been rigorously trained in the fine art and science of jumping out of airplanes. But hang-gliding? No, that they went into with nothing more than a “How hard can it be?” attitude.
You might wonder why I bring up this riveting true story, and what it might have to do with the fine art and science of painting and staining.
Well, if you’ve ever hired a fly-by-night inexperienced painting company… a crew with that same “How hard can it be?” attitude… you can probably guess.
It’s because, not to be repetitive, and not to repeat myself, but in painting, as in hang-gliding:
Experience And Know-How Matter.
And you’ll be happy to know that the amazing “painting family” here at Imhoff Fine Residential Painting has large amounts – cans and cans, buckets and buckets – of both Experience and Know-How.
We don’t send greenhorn subcontractors to your project. All of our painters are cherished, valued, treasured employees who always know that their stellar reputations (as well as that of Imhoff Fine Residential Painting) are on the line with every job.
Our painters want to wrap up your project on your preferred timeline… but they’re not in a big hurry to slap paint around, get paid, and move on down the road to the next sucke- er, customer.
Subcontractor crews often work that way. We don’t.
Experience? Know-How? It’s hard to find crews like those who’ll serve you as customers of Imhoff Fine Residential Painting. Our painters are pros! Experts! They tend to stick around our company for a LONG time… possibly because it’s nice to be appreciated (and well-paid).
And these aren’t kids! While it’s not polite to ask people their ages, we did it anyway, and our painters’ ages average north of 35.
Speaking of our beloved painters, we don’t discriminate against anyone, for any reason… and, as a result, if you want an all-woman painting crew chock-full of Experience and Know-How for your project, that’s exactly what you’ll get from Imhoff Fine Residential Painting.
And it’s hard to imagine any painting or staining challenge our crews haven’t seen… and conquered!
Don’t take our word for it. Check out our many gushing five-star online customer reviews. They’re splashed everywhere, kinda like you might get from an inexperienced kid with a paint brush and a severe case of reckless abandon.
Check us out, and then give us a call to take care of your fine painting project! You’ll absolutely love the experience you get from Imhoff Fine Residential Painting.
Your heart will soar! Time will fly! And your mood will be lighter than air as you watch us glide through the project with the uplifting effortlessness that only comes from giant buckets of Experience and Know-How.
- What do you prefer to wear on your back when you’re jumping off a mountain or building?
- Wanna buy a used hang-glider? Some visible wear, but works great, as far as you know.
- Would you like a fine painting experience that shows you the difference experience makes?
Send your answers to firstname.lastname@example.org
(* Prize is at the sole discretion of Doug Imhoff, his friends down at the bingo hall, selected members of his staff, and others he may choose to consult if the thing gets to be a real head-scratcher. To win, write your entry on a 3×5 card, fold it twice, place it in an envelope, and then take it back out and use it as a guide to type your entry into an email to the above address. By the way, you won’t believe how fabulous this month’s prize is. That’s why we can’t mention it here, because why put stuff in this edition of The Painter’s Rag that you’re just gonna scoff and poo-poo anyway? Nobody likes a naysayer, let alone a scoffer or a poo-pooer. Entries submitted by USPS will likely end up in that pile of junk mail we will get around to opening someday, maybe, so don’t take a chance on that. Handwritten entries will receive prompt attention, because, wow, if you can hand-write an email, that will get our prompt attention any time. Prohibited where void; void where disallowed. See internet for details. Believe me, the internet is chock full of details. Boring, lackluster, or unimaginative entries will not be considered, as they will be deemed boring, lackluster, unimaginative, or all three – the famous “triple threat,” as we say in show biz. So keep it pithy and fun! For the love of all that’s sacred!)
Don’t forget: With Imhoff Fine Painting, you always get more than a high-quality paint job… you get an enjoyable experience we hope you’ll treasure. We’re passionate about our customers and their properties… we’re a “painting family,” and we treat your project like family, too! Check us out online. We’re delighted by the many enthusiastic five-star reviews our clients have shared on Google, Yelp, and elsewhere. And we can’t wait to earn our next outstanding review from you!
Know anybody who could use a smile… or perhaps a GREAT painting experience?
Please forward The Painter’s Rag their way!