Paint Your Place
While You’re Away On Vacation?
… Roger That!
The Painter’s Rag:
Monthly Wit And Wisdom
From Your Friendly And Professional Fine Painting Company
So the other day, a call comes in to the busy Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company operations center, and it’s from a friend and customer we’ll call “Roger.”
(That’s not his real name, which is Melvin, but you always want to disguise names in newsletters like this, in order to protect people’s anonymity and to protect yourself from being accused of being a big old tattle-tale.)
Roger sounded frantic and stressed out.
“You sound frantic and stressed out,” we go.
“That’s because I’m frantic and stressed out,” Roger goes. “I have to have the main floor of my home spruced up with a fresh coat of love, and it has to be done pronto-like, or my marriage is in trouble.”
“Go on,” we go.
“See, we’re leaving for vacation in three weeks,” Roger goes. “Yes, thanks for asking, we are going someplace fun. We’re taking the kids to Kansas to see the World’s Largest Prairie Dog Community.”
“We didn’t even know the World’s Largest Prairie Dog had a community,” we go.
“Well, he does, and we’ve been itching to see it for years. This is the year.”
“Congratulations,” we go.
“But my wife is all like, ‘if I have to come back to this dingy, unattractive house with its especially dingy and unattractive main floor – after seeing such a beautiful animal and his community, well, I might just go back to Kansas.’ And she meant permanently,” Roger goes.
“Nobody wants that,” we go.
“So can you get a crew of highly-cherished, exquisitely-talented, distractingly-attractive Imhoff painters over here right away? I’m afraid I might already be calling too late to get the job done before we leave,” Roger goes.
“Well,” we start to go, but then Roger interrupts us with another concern.
“Now that I think about it,” he goes, “how are we supposed to do all the things we need to do to get ready for this once-in-a-lifetime two-week vacation while we’re stepping around your wonderful crew with their ladders and drop cloths and other state-of-the-art equipment?”
Roger sighed. Yes, clearly, he was stressed out about the whole thing.
“We have another idea,” we finally go. “How about we send the crew over in a few days, as you’re packing the car, and make arrangements to paint your place while you’re on vacation?”
This suggestion seemed to change Roger’s life, virtually in an instant.
“You can do that?” he goes.
“We can do that,” we go. “In fact, while you’re on vacation, and the house is otherwise empty, it’s the perfect time to have Imhoff Fine Residential Painting give your home the fresh coat of love it deserves.
“Walls will gleam. Bannisters and cabinets will shimmer. Trim will practically burst with pride. And you’ll know you’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto, when your wife comes on in and stays a while.”
We relate this conversation because you, Faithful Reader of the Rag, might (like Roger) be unaware of our ability to paint your home while you’re away on vacation. It really is the perfect time to make your home the shining castle you’ve always wanted to come home to!
So give us a call, and we’ll work out all the details necessary to help everyone feel comfortable with having our talented crew of painters add a fresh coat of love to YOUR property while you aren’t even there.
How long has it been since you saw a trim board burst with pride? Extra credit for a live-action video of the bursting in progress
Calculate the likely area, in hectares, of the World’s Largest Prairie Dog’s community. Show your math
Where are you going on your vacation this summer… and wouldn’t you love to come home to a shining castle freshly painted by Imhoff Fine Residential Painting while you were away, and you never had to even see a ladder or drop cloth?
Send your answers to email@example.com
(* Prize is at the sole discretion of Doug Imhoff, his heirs and assigns, and a small focus group of large prairie dog enthusiasts. Yes, some prairie dog enthusiasts are larger than others. Go big or go home, we always say. Top prize this month may or may not be an all-expenses-paid two-week trip to Kansas. Last prize is three weeks in Kansas. Now if THAT doesn’t get your creative juices flowing, nothing will! Deadline is neither real nor imagined. Boring, lackluster, or unimaginative entries will be banished to Kansas on a permanent basis. Nobody wants that! So make sure your entry sparkles with wit and wisdom. Best of luck!)
Don’t forget: With Imhoff Fine Residential Painting, you always get more than a high-quality paint job… you get an enjoyable experience we hope you’ll treasure. We’re passionate about our customers and their properties… we’re a “painting family,” and we treat your project like family, too! Check us out online. We dance like dancing prairie dogs when we read the many enthusiastic five-star reviews our clients have shared on Google, Yelp, and elsewhere. And we can’t wait to earn our next outstanding review from you!
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