Why You Don’t Want
To Engage An Uninsured Painter
… And Why We Keep Our Premiums Up-To-Date
The Painter’s Rag:
Monthly Wit And Wisdom
From Your Friendly And Professional Fine Painting Company
Here we are, back with another edition of The Painter’s Rag, and ready to offer yet another cautionary tale from our vast and erudite files.
This, as far as you can tell, is a true story.
Lady wants to spruce up her house. She starts looking around for a painting contractor, and soon it becomes apparent (judging from the line forming on her front lawn) that many painters are looking for work and jumping over each other to get the gig.
Lady is on a limited budget, so she starts asking these suitors what they’d charge for the job. (In some of the more sophisticated parts of town, this is known as “soliciting bids.”)
She soon gets a wide range of prices – and I mean, WIDE – and realizes she’s going to have to pay anywhere from $1,500 to $7,000 for the job. Lady goes with $1,500, and congratulates herself on a wise decision.
To make a long story short (since we all know – don’t we? – that you get what you pay for), the painter (“Fred With A Moped”) turns around and hires a shady-looking subcontractor to do the work.
Shady Looking Sub (SLS, for short) falls off a ladder on the first day, ripping the banister off Lady’s beautiful staircase and breaking his leg in two places.
(By which I mean that he broke one leg in the dining room from falling off the ladder, then staggered to the hallway, fell again, and broke the other. Looks like he’s gonna be out of work for quite some time.)
Guess What Happens Next!
That’s okay, you don’t have to guess. What happens next is that SLS files a claim for his injuries, his pain and suffering, and his pain medication (possibly brown liquid).
But, UH OH, Fred With A Moped is not a licensed painter, and he’s not an insured painter, and he hasn’t made any arrangements for Worker’s Compensation. Also, he’s unavailable to return calls.
(That’s all totally illegal and non-legit, but hey, good luck finding Fred again!)
Now, you might think that poor SLS is the victim here, and that he’s just plain out o’ luck. But, as it turns out, in this scenario, it’s LADY who is out of luck.
Lady’s homeowner policy is a little sketchy in some areas, maybe, but one thing it’s real clear on is that if Lady knowingly (or, in the case of some Ladies and their policies, even unknowingly) hires an uninsured painter, they (the insurer, not the Ladies) don’t have to pay any damages.
(In some cases, the homeowner’s policy will cover these damages to a point, and only after a hefty deductible is paid by the homeowner… and when the insurance benefits run out, which they most certainly will, the rest of the cost is back on the homeowner. And the premiums shoot up.)
(You might as well adopt SLS at that point.)
So, let’s review Lady’s “wise decision” in the aftermath of SLS’s little mishap:
- Nobody (except Lady) is going to pay for SLS’s medical bills.
- Nobody is going to pay to fix Lady’s banister (though in some cases the homeowner’s policy WILL pick that up, but again, hefty deductible and WHOOPS, there goes your discounts).
- Nobody is going to finish Lady’s paint job (unless she hires another painter).
- Nobody is going to go after Fred to reimburse Lady (lawyers do tend to read these policies and decline to take on cases they can’t win).
To make a short story even shorter, Lady ends up out-of-pocket for about $20,000 before it’s all said and done, and has to live with a partially-painted dining room ceiling and a shattered banister she put back up herself with the aid of several rolls of duct tape.
(If you visit, don’t count on the banister for safety and support. I’m just sayin.’)
That $1,500 bid from Fred suddenly doesn’t look like much of a bargain!
In fact, consider how much money Lady would’ve SAVED (the answer is $13k) if she’d gone with the $7,000 bid from a reliable, licensed, and fully-insured painter. Somebody like, oh, I dunno, Imhoff Fine Painting Company.
AND, she’d have a paint job lovingly done by the Imhoff Family of Fine Painters, who are cherished employees (NOT SLSs), and who know our stellar reputation is on the line with every stroke of the brush.
Lady’s banister would not only be intact – it’d be sporting a fresh coat of attractive stain, and sturdy as the day it was born.
So don’t mess around. Sure, gather bids for your home spruce-up, but before you go with a low-baller like Fred, ask if he’s licensed and insured, and if he says he is, make him prove it.
This is no time to be Lady-like.
***
Discussion Questions
- Calculate the number of rolls of duct tape it would take to mummify Fred to his moped, and to adhere them both to the electrical pole near Lady’s front lawn, so she can always get ahold of him if she has a problem. Show your work. Extra credit given for creativity
- How sturdy do you believe Lady’s banister was the day it was born? Express your answer in kilos-per-square-inch
- Do you know someone who needs to beautify their property, but doesn’t want to LOSE the property to liability for whatever bad things might happen?
Send your answers to doug@imhoffpaintingcompany.com
(* Prize is at the sole discretion of Doug Imhoff, his heirs and assigns, and a few very nice and thoughtful Ladies who know that you get what you pay for. This month’s Grand Prize may or may not be a used moped with visible signs of duct tape adhesive. If your entry is really great, though, we’ll come up with something much better than that. All entries submitted after the deadline will be considered late, but may be eligible for Worker’s Compensation. No coupons, please. Also, no substitutions. We hate that. Boring, lackluster, or unimaginative entries will be duct-taped to a phone pole for all the neighbors to see and snicker at. So you want to avoid that if you can. Best of luck!)
***
Don’t forget: With Imhoff Fine Residential Painting, you always get more than a high-quality paint job… you get an enjoyable experience we hope you’ll treasure. We’re passionate about our customers and their properties… we’re a “painting family,” and we treat your project like family, too! Check us out online. We’re prone to un-Lady-like squeals of glee when we read the many enthusiastic five-star reviews our clients have shared on Google, Yelp, and elsewhere. And we can’t wait to earn our next outstanding review from you!
Know anybody who could use a smile… or perhaps a GREAT painting experience?
Please forward The Painter’s Rag their way!