Imhoff: Certified To Paint
(Also, Fully Insured)
The Painter’s Rag:
Monthly Wit And Wisdom
From Your Friendly And Professional Fine Painting Company
Soon, as Old Man Winter begins to loosen his icy grip on you, Young Man Painter will be knocking on your door, looking to tighten his icy grip on your wallet.
Yes, some Saturday in the near future, you might answer the door and find Paintin’ Dan And His Paintin’ Van, or Lucky Chuck And His Paintin’ Truck, dropping by to tell you about the screaming hot deal you can get on a springtime spruce-up for your home.
Before you put any of your hard-earned bucks into his icy grip, you might want to gently ask Dan and/or Chuck a few important questions:
- “Are you, or any members of what I’ll loosely call your “crew,” professionally trained and certified by the PCA?”
- “That’s NOT the Porsche Club of America, Dan/Chuck… I’m talking about the Painting Contractors Association. THAT PCA. Tha’s the one that accredits and certifies, coaches and trains, and it’s also the outfit that created the only industry standards recognized the world over.”
- “You’ve never even heard of it? Next question.”
- “What would happen if you scattered lead paint chips all over my tulips or – worse! – my prize tomatoes? Are you fully insured? Really?”
- “What gives you the right to park your van and/or truck on my porch?”
- “If I were to hire you, and you were to fall off a ladder and break several things, including my antique lamp, part of my stair rail, your clavicle, and any remnant of confidence I had in you, what would happen next?”
- “Would you fix or replace everything you broke?”
- “Would your medical bills be covered by your insurance?”
- “Or would I be on the hook for all of it?”
If the answer to those questions about certification and insurance isn’t “Yes,” then you can rest assured that the answer to that last question WILL be.
Now, I’m not saying that every Chuck or Dan that knocks on your door and offers you a screaming hot deal on a painting project is an uncertified, uninsured fly-by-night.
I’m also not saying unequivocally that if you do hire an uncertified, uninsured, fly-by-night “painter” and allow them to work on your property, that you will end up with a disastrous and expensive mess on your hands.
(But if I were to say those things, chances are, I would not be wrong.)
No, I’m simply saying that going with a professionally-certified, fully-insured painting company, such as Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company, is probably your best bet.
You wouldn’t think so, but attempting to produce a high-quality paint job for your property can be tricky – possibly even dangerous. When you attempt to apply paint or stain to surfaces, trust me, anything can happen.
For the overwhelming majority of our projects, nothing bad happens. Only good things happen.
You end up with a beautifully-refreshed home, inside and/or out, with a fantastic look that will last and last.
But when something unfortunate does happen, you should know that, unlike Dan and Chuck, Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company is thoroughly trained, professionally-certified, and fully insured. You will NOT be on the hook for any misfortune.
We have this crazy idea that we should always, as a bare minimum, leave your property in better shape than we found it. No broken lamps. No broken stair rails. No broken bones.
No broken trust, either!
So again, before Chuck or Dan get their icy grip on your money and your property, ask a few questions. Check out the reviews they have online (if any).
Then, check out the many enthusiastic five-star reviews our customers have taken the time to post for Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company. If you call us up and ask those same questions, we’re confident you’ll like the answers.
Because we want to earn our next great online review from you!
- Can that antique lamp really be replaced? I mean, would any amount of money make up for the loss of that lamp, which has been in the family since the Rutherford B. Hayes Administration?
- Why would you answer the door if you peek out and see a van or truck parked on the porch?
- How would you like a fresh coat of LOVE for your place, administered by fully licensed and insured pros who will never leave you with a disastrous and expensive mess on your hands?
Send your answers to email@example.com … The most clever, creative responses will be eligible to WIN A PRIZE! *
(* Prize is at the sole discretion of Doug Imhoff, his heirs and assigns, and a focus group of antique dealers and ladder manufacturers. One of the judges actually manufactures antique ladders. We have no idea how he does it, and while his product doesn’t seem all that safe, it does cut quite a handsome figure. This month’s Grand Prize may or may not include a repair of your collapsed front porch. Odds of winning are one in however many entries we get. That might seem somewhat obvious. Deadline is theoretical. Boring, lackluster, or unimaginative entries will be left in the van on your porch. That’s not going to be good, so keep it lively and fun. Best of luck!)
Don’t forget: With Imhoff Fine Residential Painting, you always get more than a high-quality paint job… you get an enjoyable experience we hope you’ll treasure. We’re passionate about our customers and their properties… we’re a “painting family,” and we treat your project like family, too! Check us out online. We often jog out and dance on the front porch when we read the many enthusiastic five-star reviews our clients have shared on Google, Yelp, and elsewhere. And we can’t wait to earn our next outstanding review from you!
Know anybody who could use a smile… or perhaps a GREAT painting experience?
Please forward The Painter’s Rag their way!