You Need A Vacation
…And Your Place Needs A Fresh Coat Of LOVE
The Painter’s Rag:
Monthly Wit And Wisdom
From Your Friendly And Professional Fine Painting Company
Here’s a little-known fact: well-fed Alaskan grizzlies can get so much salmon during the spawning season that they often eat only the fish’s brains and roe and other fatty parts, and leave most of the tasty meat for the scavenger birds.
I bet you didn’t know fish even had brains. But I bet you know some people who have fish on the brain. You might be one of them!
So if you have fish on your brain, and you’re ready for a late-summer or early-fall fishing trip, now’s the perfect time to have your house painted.
No, this is not a fish-brained idea. This is actually another little-known fact: The talented, expert, professional, amazingly good-looking painters from the Imhoff Fine Residential Painting family can paint your home while you’re not even there.
Yes, you can make arrangements to have a fresh coat of LOVE applied to your walls, trim, cabinets, banisters, or even the exterior of your home, all while you’re away hooking buckets of those brainless trout up in them thar hills.
Or – get this! – you might want to sneak out of town for a little holiday vacation in December, and the Imhoff painting family can spruce the place up while you’re gone then… at a great discount!
Our slow season starts around the holidays, right when our painters are trying to be on their best behavior for Santa. So if you book your holiday project NOW, we’ll give those painters a chance to shine for the Bearded Guy, and we’ll give YOU a sweet deal.
Call for details!
Our Christmas In July promotion has been extended through August and probably most of September, but our calendar is filling up fast… so call right away! This might be the best catch you snag all year.
- Who do you know who, like salmon, has a fatty brain?
- Create a flow chart (get it?) which illustrates Alaskan salmon spawning habits
- Are you ready for a vacation, even while your house is being given the fresh coat of LOVE it deserves?
Send your answers to email@example.com
(* Prize is at the sole discretion of Doug Imhoff, his heirs and assigns, and a select committee of Alaskan grizzlies and fishing experts. Actually, the Alaskan grizzlies ARE the fishing experts. And they can be pretty picky, so you’ll want to send your best possible effort. Top prize this month is an all-expense-paid trip to Ala – bama? Just kidding. It’s probably not that. But it’s guaranteed to be a super-cool prize – hence the title “Top Prize” – so you won’t be disappointed. Deadline is fishy at best. Boring, lackluster, or unimaginative entries will be gutted and left for the scavenger birds. Ick. So send us your very best work. Good luck!)
Don’t forget: With Imhoff Fine Residential Painting, you always get more than a high-quality paint job… you get an enjoyable experience we hope you’ll treasure. We’re passionate about our customers and their properties… we’re a “painting family,” and we treat your project like family, too! Check us out online. We dance like happy grizzlies when we read the many enthusiastic five-star reviews our clients have shared on Google, Yelp, and elsewhere. And we can’t wait to earn our next outstanding review from you!
Know anybody who could use a smile… or perhaps a GREAT painting experience?
Please forward The Painter’s Rag their way!