… Give Her A Home She’ll Love Coming Home To – At A Discount
At this festive season of the year, we find it’s more than usually desirable to add a little artistry to our already artistically superior blog.
Faithful readers of this space – folks such as yourself – look forward YEAR-ROUND to the light-hearted way we describe the many virtues of our work here at Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company.
The fact that we’re insured, bonded, and fully on the up-and-up. The fact that we do the job right the first time, every time, and we don’t leave your property until it’s a showplace. The fact that we train our charming and good-looking painters in the finest training facility known to the painting world.
Even the fact that our customers can’t help but GUSH their praise when they take the time to post enthusiastic five-star reviews for us online (for which we are always extremely grateful, and of which we’re extremely proud).
But this time of year, our demanding readers demand a little more. So with that in mind, we’ve actually composed a song which we’re sure will be a hit throughout the entire world. Or, at least it could hit the Top 40 on the Billboard “Songs By Painters” chart.
We know what you’re probably thinking. You’re probably thinking “That’s enough ado.” So now, without further ado, we present the lyrics:
Stain Auld Lang Syne
Met my grandmother in the grocery store
The snow was falling, Christmas Eve.
She stood there sobbing in the frozen foods,
And her chest began to heave.
She didn’t recognize my face at first,
But then she said “My word! It’s you!”
I tried to help her with her shopping then
But she told me she was through.
I said the years had been a friend to her
It was a comment from the heart.
“But now I’m guessing you’re forgetting stuff,
‘Cause there’s nothing in your cart.”
“And why the tears, Grandma?” I said to her,
As we went rolling down the aisle.
“I’m so sorry, Dear,” she then replied,
“But I have no cause to smile.”
“I’m only here because I can’t go home,”
The lady said through salty tears.
“I just can’t stand those kitchen cabinets,
Which have had no stain for years!”
We went back to her place to have a drink
(Hot tea for me, for her a beer),
And I could see what she was sad about:
Those cabinets were quite drear!
I said, “I know a guy who has a team,
Best painters in the hemisphere,
And as my tardy Christmas gift to you,
I’ll call and get them over here!”
“They’ll spiff your cabinets right up,” I said,
“And while they’re at it, I will see
If they can give your walls a coat of LOVE
With a satisfaction guarantee!”
We drank a toast to Imhoff, then,
We drank more than enough,
And now, my Grandma has a home
With a fresh new coat of LOVE!
It’s true, Christmas is over and done with for this year. But it’s never too late to give the gift that your grandma – or anyone else you cherish, for that matter – will appreciate beyond the words of gratitude they choke out through salty tears.
(Okay, that artistry got away from us a little there.)
Now, during the slow season, we would love to give your grandma’s home a fresh coat of LOVE, and we’re always looking for projects that can keep our painters so busy they have no time for bad songwriting.
So call today, and ask about our Winter Discount – for most projects, you could save a festive fifteen percent off the cost of a fresh coat of LOVE!
Call your friends at Imhoff Fine Residential Painting Company today, and by NEXT Christmas, you and/or your loved ones will have a home to be proud of. Happy New Year! May 2023 bring you and yours lots of joy and happiness.